6. You Accept Their Flaws
As children, our parents seem invincible. They know everything, can fix anything, and are real-life heroes to us.
But as we get older, we see them as regular people, just like us. They have flaws and they make mistakes. They’re not perfect.
After your parent is gone, it may be easier to come to terms with past grievances you had or grudges you held. Eventually, you may be able to forgive them for things you used to hold on to very tightly.
7. Your Emotions Are Complicated
You don’t only feel sad, or just feel angry. You may feel a little bit of everything. You might feel guilty, or afraid, or even relieved. It’s okay to have negative feelings about your parent or the loss of that parent. It’s a part of the healing process, and “logical grief” isn’t a thing. Feel your feelings, whatever they are.
8. Your Relationship with Your Siblings Changes
Whether you were close to your siblings or not before your parent’s death, that may shift. Every family has a different dynamic, and parents typically influence that dynamic. Losing a leader in the family may make things complicated or confusing. It may cause friction between siblings that used to get along fine; but it also may bring estranged siblings closer together.
There is no one else who will understand your grief like your sibling will, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll experience it in the same way. Try to support one another as you work through your grief.
9. You’ll Try To Call Them
When something happens that would normally make you call your parent, you may momentarily forget they’re gone and try to call or text them. It’s a habit that’s hard to break. It’s not uncommon to do this, but that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking. It can make their loss feel fresh and incredibly painful all over again.
10. You Learn How Strong Love Is
Even though your parent is gone, you will realize that your love for them — and theirs for you — still exists in the world. It’s in the memories you have of them. It’s in the traditions you’ve built. It may be bittersweet, but knowing your love for them goes on can bring some comfort. And this may help you get through those really tough days.
If you need any support after the loss of a parent, theses resources can help:
Grief.com (USA) www.grief.com
My Grief Angels (USA, Canada) www.mygriefangels.com
If you or someone you know is suffering from a mental health crisis, please contact a crisis line. There are likely local options, but here are some helpful ones:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-8255
Depression Hotline (USA): 1-866-208-4949
Crisis Text Line (USA): 741741
For life-threatening crises, call 9-1-1.
This story originally appeared at Goodfullness.
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