Woman Thinks She’s a Victim of Injustice and She’s Asking a Friend for Money to Sue Her Boss

“We have been friends together,
In sunshine and in shade;
Since first beneath the chestnut-trees
In infancy we played.
But coldness dwells within thy heart,
A cloud is on thy brow;
We have been friends together—
Shall a light word part us now?

We have been gay together;
We have laugh’d at little jests;
For the fount of hope was gushing
Warm and joyous in our breasts.
But laughter now hath fled thy lip,
And sullen glooms thy brow;
We have been gay together—
Shall a light word part us now?

We have been sad together,
We have wept, with bitter tears,
O’er the grass-grown graves, where slumber’d
The hopes of early years.
The voices which are silent there
Would bid thee clear thy brow;
We have been sad together—
Oh! what shall part us now?” — From the poem “We Have Been Friends Together” by Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton

In this story of two friends, it’s money and revenge that may soon set them apart. Her friend lost her job, and she wanted to take revenge on her boss. But this friend didn’t have the money to spend on the filing of a lawsuit, much less a legal battle that may take years.

The solution she could think of was asking for “donations” to cover legal costs from friends. One of those friends was this woman, who posted all about it on Mumsnet.

With the username msbees, OP shared her friend’s story and her concern over the money that she was requesting as a donation to her “cause.” She wrote, “I primarily live in SF, CA (am British, but lived here for years). My friend lost her job and is convinced she’s got a shot at filing a lawsuit and suing for wrongful termination. I don’t know the ins and outs of the case because we’ve only exchanged a few texts on the matter. She is looking at hiring lawyers, and, as is common knowledge, Americans love litigation.”

But here comes the complicated part: OP’s friend was now asking her to donate $20k for legal costs. The friend admitted that she has personal money in the amount of $15k. However, she claimed that it would be gone soon due to the loss of her health insurance and other expenditures.

Hence, she was asking OP to shell out $20k, but it was only for a lawyer’s acceptance fee and drafting of the papers for the lawsuit. This fact compelled OP to ask her friend for more details about the case, but all she did was talk angrily about their company’s CED and questionable behavior.

Later, she did tell OP that she would provide her with more information, for which she agreed to wait. And yet, her friend already wanted to know at that point if she would make the “donation.”

OP continued to write, “She knows I can ‘afford it’ due to my previous company sale being public information, yet I can’t help but feel uneasy about it. I also think it’s my British nature to be more reserved about money, whereas Americans are a lot more open about it. Also, when a company is sold, most of the money goes to paying shareholders, etc… so what she might have seen online is nowhere near close to what we each have (each being management team).”

OP ended her post with her concern about her friend’s pursuing a case which could turn out to simply be a waste of money. She’s aware that legal costs are quick to rise into the hundreds of thousands.

OP observed how emotional her friend was at the moment and said it was possible that she has not weighed matters carefully before arriving at the decision of filing a case. OP wanted the opinion of the Mumsnet users if she’s being unreasonable for choosing to refuse her friend’s request even before she could learn more about the situation.

Here is some of the best advice:

From PurpleReindeer2: “Not a good idea, OP. It will put huge strain on your friendship.”

From Aftjbtibg: “She wants you to give her a lot of money just because she thinks you can? This isn’t a friend if they would expect that; say no and put some distance there.”

From Keeween: “As my ol’granfer would say, never a borrower nor lender be, ‘twill bring naught but strife. He didn’t speak very often but when he did, he was usually right.”